is it compromised fidelity?

I have been wondering just where should we draw the line? Who decides whats acceptable and what's not? When we enter into a relationship we expect the other person to remain faithful to us. If we are melodramatic we also expect our better halves to shower praises on us and if they happen to even as to look at another creature of the fairer sex we go hysterical!!
So does looking at random people on the streets and appreciating them is also infidelity? Probably not. At least i dont think so.
But what would you call this? A girl ( for the convenience of guys to imagine) is in a relationship for 2 years. She is quite a happy person and both of them dote on each other. Yet the girl harbours this secret cravings to know what her previous crushes are upto. As far is known through various sources {read gossip-mongers} she never had any serious flings upto now,, she just had been infatuated with them. Now when everybody thought that she n her boyfriend makes a lovely adorable couple , this rather anxiety of hers has made tongues waggling all over her group of friends,
Now is this cheating ? She tries to talk to those guys over the internet, or other social networking sites,, fortunately none of her crushes are in the same city as hers. Well is she being infidel to her present boyfriend?
or will this not be called cheating if her boyfriend is aware that she is still friends with people she had feelings for?

We have seen in Bollywood movies : once the person , generally the hero, has confessed his sins ,he is forgiven -coz our heroines are so tolerable and enduring.

Or does time really heal everything??

when the confession comes years after the one night stands or stranded nights actually took place and the partners in crime are no longer together, is it easier to forgive [considering again that the spouse is again a magnanimous person]

Perhaps its the other way around,, years after the confession ,, feelings mellow down ,,, the rage is no longer scrapping the wound and above all love prevails and hot tears are shed and the cheat is taken back.

so what is infidelity? Is cheating once pardonable but not if you slip again and again? Is it possible to forgive the person who cheated on yhou just because many winters have passed since that took place and your spouse begs for forgiveness? HOw sorry is he or she ? Does that help anything?


To imagine a third person when your sharing most intimate moments .. is it not cheating too? Here the other person never knows what is going on in his/ her partners mind? Is he / she moaning from your lovemaking or is he/ she craving for the phantoms in their mind?


So coming back to our friend : is she cheating on her boyfriend if she desires to talk to people who once set her heart aflutter? N will it not be cheating to have desires to talk to them in the light of her boyfriend knowing about it?

So again back to square one? whats infidelity ? where should one draw the line?
Whats acceptable ? whats intolerable? WHATS UNFORGIVABLE?