There are at times in a relationship that you reflect back and ponder what made u say yes when you did . More often than not you are absolutely left aghast as you cannot find a single reason that seems logical to you at that time. Past few months have been tiring for both of us... more for me than him. I constantly felt that the spark has died out and that I no longer love him with the same intensity as before. I even felt I am in love with few random men, whom I either happen to know or just caught a glimpse of them across the dinner table. It was so weird, I suffered from compunctions and yet nothing would relieve me of my chagrin.
At these times, he was very patient , always trying to reason out with me, asking me to be calm and assured me that I still love him.
I always wanted to watch him in action at the hockey ground, after all , he was a former state level player. And today, after 2 years,2months and 2 days later I did see him. It was a match between intra instituitional teams but when i saw him, I thought it was an important match. Not wanting to distract him,not that he would have spotted me with spotted me with the gleaming floddlights. My eyes followed him everywhere.. his every move, the way he held his hockey stick, the slight tilt of his head, his long lean legs, I took it all in . Standing between the trees, I saw him frustrate the efforts of the opponents. He delivered few neat sweeps to pass the ball , though I dont know much about hockey, he did seem to put in a lot of effort and often I would hear his name being screamed out from the field below "Kumar". What an exhiliarating experience it was..
GOD!!! I fell in love again with him,, I felt like the shy schoolgirl that i was, surreptiously catching glimpses of the school champion ,.. only now am no longer a school girl and my eyes were absorbing the very Man, who taught me the meaning of love and continues to do so.
There are bitter moments in every relationships but it is these brief moments of unexpected ecstacy that makes you believe that LOVE IS A WONDERFUL THING and its more wonderful to know that out there ..someone is waiting just for you.
We have been through a lot in the past 2 years and there had been innumerable times when I thought that this relayionship cannot last any longer... and yet after today, and it has happened many times in the past too, I feel I can never ever be complete without Him.
thank you Da, for being with me ,,,
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beautiful girl. i can only try to understand. but as in that first day when u told me abt u n anna, so today, i feel excited for u all over again. its as if i can feel that energising spirit of youth rushin thru u n him. n also understaning at the same time, that u, he, me - we have all grown older. both in age n in expereince. that is why probably we can love better now. luv u always, stay good.
ReplyDeletebeautiful :)
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